


Cowboys Ain't Easy To Love

by YanzaDracan



Category: Actor RPF, Kane (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Cowboys, Drama, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Partnership, adopted bunny, relationships, rodeo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-07
Updated: 2013-04-07
Packaged: 2017-12-07 17:13:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/751006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YanzaDracan/pseuds/YanzaDracan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: <b><i>Rodeo</i></b> by Garth Brooks</p><p>The title was borrowed from Willie Nelson’s song <i>Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cowboys Ain't Easy To Love

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** All copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. References to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual. Any mistakes are mine.

Steve watches Christian move slowly across the living room, holding his wrapped ribs. It’s just the latest in a long litany of injuries for the professional bull rider. Christian has ridden a bucking animal since he was big enough to hold on. A rodeo scholarship paid for his college, and bull riding for his sister’s college.

 

Steve knew Christian Kane was a championship caliber bull rider when they met … Hell, it’s the reason they met, and most days Steve’s fine with his partner profession. Then there are the times like now when Christian comes home broken and bloody and then leaves again before he’s fully heal. It’s all about the points, and you can’t get the points if you don’t ride the bulls.

Steve knows deep down where he shoves his terror every time ropes himself to a ton of pissed off bull, Christian’s going to get killed. He’s sure of it. His hand will get hung in the rope, or the clown won’t be fast enough to divert the bull from the fallen cowboy. He’s seen the results of some of Christian’s wrecks. He’s the one who they call every time Christian is be taken out of the arena bleeding, broken, or unconscious. He knows all the worst-case scenarios … Including death.

 

He’s the one they called last time a bull damn nearly killed Christian because Christian wouldn’t leave the horse one of the outriders had abandoned when the bull went crazy.

Steve is who prayed every single time that Christian woke up without his brains scrambled, and his body broken beyond repair. The one that had to see his bruised face every time he walked into the latest hospital.

 

When Christian finally woke up hours after his latest cowboy vs. bull match, the relief felt like a boulder lifted from his chest. Then Christian started insisting that he was fine, and was gone again before he was fully healed. Steve decided that sometimes enough was enough.

He hated to say it, but there are times when he wishes he could walk away. He isn’t meant to put his life on hold every weekend Christian steps into the arena. Every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday of rodeo season wondering if this is the ride where the man who’s taken up residence in his soul comes home on his shield.

 

There are things Steve wants to do, things he wants to experience, and none of them have anything to do with waiting for the inevitable death of a cowboy that he’s loved the past five years. He’s alone in his cloud of worry, not able to commiserate with the wives and partners of the other riders in this sub-culture of American life that doesn’t always understand their relationship.

 

To preserve his sanity, he walks away. He stops taking the calls from the hospitals and the on-site doctor, even though it kills him a little bit each time. Stops picking him up at airports and hospitals. Stops answering his calls, he listens to every voicemail though and it hurts because he does love Christian, but he doesn’t love the rodeo and the things that it does to Christian’s body.

 

He moves back home to figure out what he’s going to do. His life has practically been at a standstill so he’s kind of lost.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Tired of falling over boxes and duffels, his mother’s ire triggers the next step on Steve’s new path. He begins packing away his life with Christian Kane.

 

He runs his fingers lovingly over the cover of the notebooks. The notebooks were the talisman that kept him going through the spills, muscle pulls, broken bones, concussions, cuts and bruises too numerous to remember. It contains all the songs they’d written together. Songs they sometimes performed together in whatever bar the riders frequented after the day’s ride. His fellow riders would tease Christian about becoming the next Chris LeDoux.

 

Refusing to shed anymore tears over the stubborn bull rider, Steve placed the notebooks on top of the other pieces of his life with Christian. Taping the box closed he carried it to the furthest corner of his parents’ attic.

 

He goes cold turkey. He never watches rodeo, never checks the standings, refuses to search for Christian’s name on his computer.

 

He reconnects with old friends, and works to promote his music in a wider market. Songs are written and recorded at his best friend’s studio. Some of his music gets featured in movies and on television shows, and he is once again Steve Carlson, up and coming indie artist.

After his shows, he hangs out with the fans, taking pictures, and signing autographs. With his good looks never lacks for willing bed partners, but his heart is sealed in a box in the corner of his parents’ attic so none of them lasts longer than a month.

 

It's been three years since Christian left his final message on his phone, and he wakes to another stranger in his bed. Tired of the hollow feeling where his heart should be, he doesn’t try to remember her name … She’s just the latest groupie he brought home. Barely giving her time to pull on her clothes, he brusquely shows her the door.

 

As he starts to close the door he notices a box sitting on the porch. It’s addressed to him, but there’s no postmark or return address. Curious and confused he steps out to pick up the box, never noticing the pickup truck sitting across the street, or the man behind the wheel watching his actions intently.

Pulling a guitar pick out of his pocket, he slits the tape. Unable to balance the box while trying to see the contents, he sits on the step, box between his knees. His breath catches in his throat. The first thing in the box is a Las Vegas newspaper from December.

 

**_Double Title Holder Calls It Quits!_ **

_PBR and PRCA Bull Riding Champion, Christian Kane announced his retirement from his hospital bed at the Desert Palms Hospital._

**_“Rodeo is a harsh mistress. I’ve accomplished the goals I set for myself, and now it’s time to return to my real love.”_ **

****

_The world champion was rushed to the hospital after the hard bucking bull, White Magic tried to take Kane through the arena fence during the final round at the National Finals Rodeo. Bull and rider were both clearly hurting as Kane held on to finish the eight second ride and claim his championship buckle with a score of 89. After being checked by the vet, White Magic was declared bruised but healthy._

_World Champion Bull Rider, Christian Kane is being treated for a concussion, three broken ribs, and a shattered kneecap._

Steve threw the paper to the side, tears making the print too blurry to read. Under the paper lay two large gold and silver belt buckles. One was from the PBR and the other from the PRCA … Both bearing the year and Christian’s name.

 

He reverently laid the buckles on top the paper and picked up the tissue paper wrapped bundle in the bottom of the box. His expression was confused as he finished opening the tissue paper. It was the song notebooks he had packed away in the corner of his parents’ attic.

Confusion was giving way to anger when something blocked the sunlight. He looked up. Thinner, leaning on a cane, face hidden in the shadows of his cowboy hat stood Christian Kane.

 

The notebook joined the other contents of the box as he stood slowly taking in the man before him. His mouth opened and closed several times though no words were forthcoming. His hand reached out to caress the stubbled cheek as if he needed to make sure the cowboy was real.

 

“Christian?” He said softly, afraid if he spoke too loud Christian would disappear.

 

The dark head lifted. Blue/gray eyes full of hope and love met blue eyes full of confusion and love.

“Can I come home?” His words were just as soft.

 

The hollow place in his chest filled with warmth as his arms are filled by the man he thought would always choose his mistress over his love.

 

As he’s enfolded in Christian’s arms … He’s glad he was wrong.

 

~ Fini ~


End file.
